Mother turns tragedy into hope after losing son

She is on mission to help others work through their grief.
Hope Reger of Xenia has written a book, created a seven week online program and has a podcast around the topic of grief and loss. Her youngest son Justin was shot and killed at the age of 18.

Hope Reger of Xenia has written a book, created a seven week online program and has a podcast around the topic of grief and loss. Her youngest son Justin was shot and killed at the age of 18.

The death of a child is often a loss so devastating to a parent that many find it difficult to move beyond the tremendous grief they feel.

Hope Reger of Xenia gave birth to two sons – Brian and her youngest, Justin.

“I met my first husband, Woody, after I had just had Justin,” Reger said.

Reger and her husband were married for 15 years before eventually divorcing in 2015 after years of financial struggles that began when he became disabled and couldn’t work.

Looking for a fresh start, Reger moved to Columbus for a new job shortly after her divorce. At that time her son, Justin Mapp, was 18 years old – old enough to choose where he wanted to live.

“Justin wanted to stay behind in Xenia with his friends,” Reger said. “He would come to Columbus and stay for a short time, get a job, then get bored and go back to Xenia.”

Hope Reger's youngest son, Justin Mapp, was shot and killed by his roommate in 2016  when he was 18 years old. Reger has devoted her life after her son's death to helping others through the grief process. CONTRIBUTED

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In September of 2016, Justin finally decided to settle down in Xenia and moved in with two roommates.

Just a few months later on Nov. 17, Reger was at home in Columbus when local police officers knocked at her door. When she answered, they handed her a note with a phone number and told her it was urgent she call right away.

“I called the number and the person on the other line said it was the Greene County Coroner’s office,” Reger said. “When I gave them my name, they said it was about Justin.”

Reger received the news that would change her life forever. Her youngest son was dead at the age of 18.

Justin Map was shot and killed by a roommate in Xenia when he was 18 years old. His mother, Hope Reger, has devoted her life since then to helping others through their grief process. CONTRIBUTED

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Justin had gotten into an altercation with one of his roommates who had a gun. He was shot in the chest.

“Justin was taken to the hospital and passed away at 2 a.m.,” Reger said. “Everything in my life stopped at that moment. And I got in my car and drove to Xenia.”

Unable to see her son’s body at the morgue because of the open criminal case, Reger said she had no idea what to do next.

“I called one funeral home, and they wanted $10,000 up front, which I didn’t have. It was so overwhelming,” Reger said.

Eventually, Reger found a funeral home that was willing to help her. Once Justin’s body arrived at the funeral home, Reger could finally see her son.

“I still have no words to describe that moment,” Reger said.

Hope Reger of Xenia talks about how her life changed after losing her son to a gun violence when he was just 18 years old. Today she helps others through grief. CONTRIBUTED

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Reger was drowning in grief, which only got worse after her son’s killer was released after the charges were dismissed.

“I was angry, mad and frustrated,” Reger said. “I wanted justice, and I couldn’t understand how the person who took my son’s life would have no consequences.”

Reger sought out professional grief counseling and was referred to a group session. Through counseling, Reger wrestled with her own demons, including blaming herself for her son’s death.

“I felt like I failed Justin,” she said.

Then out of the blue, Reger said she heard the words “Be kind,” and she suddenly knew that this was her purpose as she navigated this new version of her life without Justin.

Hope Reger's son, Brian Mickle, remains close to his mother after losing his younger brother, Justin, in a fatal shooting. He is shown with daughter Haylynn Mickle. CONTRIBUTED

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“I realized that anger and frustration was going to cripple me,” Reger said. “And this wasn’t what I needed to honor Justin.”

Today, Reger has returned to Xenia and is married to husband Mike. She is close to son Brian Mickle and enjoys spending time with her granddaughters, Haylynn, Adalynn, and Brilie. She works full time for a major financial institution as a talent coordinator.

Hope Reger with her husband, Mike. Reger has created an online program to help others deal with loss and tragedy. CONTRIBUTED

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Since Justin’s death, Reger has helped people by volunteering and “paying it forward,” as often as possible. And in June of 2020, she realized that people were losing family members to the COVID-19 pandemic, and she felt instantly connected to people she didn’t know through shared grief.

“I decided that I could start something for people where they could share their grief virtually, like we did in my grief group,” Reger said.

Reger developed a seven-week program she called “Grief 2 Hope” and the first session launched via Zoom in October of 2020. During the introductory session, she shares her own story of loss and how she moved from incredible grief to hope.

“It’s as simple as telling people about your loss and pain and then getting up every day looking for whatever hope you can find,” Reger said.

Hope Reger of Xenia has created a 7 week long program that she offers online free to anyone going through tragedy and grief. She lost her own son to a gunshot when he was 18 years old.

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Another part of Reger’s recovery has been writing and publishing a book “Grief 2 Hope,” which tells her story from her son’s deathpassing up to today, including how she created her grief program. The book published July 24.

“I want people to feel like it’s OK to laugh and be joyful again after losing someone they love,” Reger said. “Justin created so much joy in the world. We shouldn’t feel guilty because we want to be happy. That’s not what our loved ones would want.”

For more information, log on to http://www.grief2hopesupport.com

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